Grief and Loss: Helping A Loved One Through It

How do you minister to a Christian or nonChristian on the anniversary of the loss of a loved one? :'(

  1. What Bible text(s) would you recommend?
  2. Do you have a favorite book you would give or author you would suggest he or she reads?
  3. Is there a certain place, movie or activity you would suggest?
  4. If the person were far or near, what would you, personally, do?
  5. Do you have a go-to-song or poem that helped you through your loss?
  6. Is there a suggested scenic picture or portrait you can or would recommend?

Any fresh thoughts for those with a loss? CM

Comments

  • C_M_C_M_ Posts: 2,904

    A long time favorite of many over the years. Enjoy! CM

  • C_M_C_M_ Posts: 2,904

    December 3, 2018, 7:27 PM

    Former President George H.W. Bush lies in state — live updates

    Former President George H.W. Bush is lying in state at the U.S. Capitol, where his body will remain through Wednesday. The 41st president died late Friday at 94 years old. Flags at the U.S. Capitol and White House have been lowered to half-staff in his honor. PrAY FOR THE FAMILY. CM

  • reformedreformed Posts: 2,206

    @C_M_ said:
    December 3, 2018, 7:27 PM

    Former President George H.W. Bush lies in state — live updates

    Former President George H.W. Bush is lying in state at the U.S. Capitol, where his body will remain through Wednesday. The 41st president died late Friday at 94 years old. Flags at the U.S. Capitol and White House have been lowered to half-staff in his honor. PrAY FOR THE FAMILY. CM

    It will be an especially hard Christmas season for the Bush family I imagine losing both Barbara and George in the same year. Prayers for the family.

  • C_M_C_M_ Posts: 2,904

    @reformed said:

    @C_M_ said:
    Former President George H.W. Bush is lying in state at the U.S. Capitol, where his body will remain through Wednesday. The 41st president died late Friday at 94 years old. Flags at the U.S. Capitol and White House have been lowered to half-staff in his honor. PrAY FOR THE FAMILY. CM

    It will be an especially hard Christmas season for the Bush family I imagine losing both Barbara and George in the same year. Prayers for the family.

    Yes, I concur. It has been just 8 months since Barbara's death. The hope of the resurrection is the assurance in moving forward. CM

  • Pray for peaceful discernment, especially how to love (if needed, use words) <3

    Different people (re)process stages of grief at different times (including repeats): denial, anger, bargaining, depression, loneliness, and acceptance.

    Giving Thanks for everything, including not like & not understand, allowed me to skip angry at God stage (while have experienced the others). Thankful for God's daily Holy Loving presence :smiley: (while humanly miss best friend for 80 % of my memories). Thankful for God providing a vision to a cousin so know best friend is in heaven. Thankful for God providing a stray cat who enjoys purring while being petted (plus pray too). Thankful for "Hope in the Mourning" Bible that has many GriefShare devotions.

    When Your Friend Is Grieving
    by Jeanetta R. Chrystie

    These simple expressions of caring can go a long way to help someone heal from a significant loss.
    1. If you don’t know what to say, just say a simple "I’m sorry." The closer your meeting or visit is to the tragedy, the less you should say anyway. Offer a brief embrace or squeeze the person’s hand or arm. Meet his or her eyes with a loving look.
    2. Keep in touch. Be available but not smothering. Keep early visits and phone calls short so as not to tire your friends.
    3. Accept silence. Don’t chatter on incessantly about anything and everything just to fill the air with words. If your friends aren’t ready to talk, value their privacy. Often they prefer to sit together in silence. When they’re ready to talk, let them lead.
    4. Let them express their feelings, and don’t judge them. If they are angry, let them vent. Forgive rash words during this emotional time.
    5. Don’t probe for details about the death or illness. If they want to talk about what happened, just listen.
    6. Allow the "working through" process to unfold naturally. Don’t whisk away clothes, pictures, or other reminders of their sorrow. Similarly, don’t prevent them from visiting graves or sites of accidents. It may seem maudlin to you, but it’s a part of their grief process.
    7. Offer practical help: cooking, dishwashing, cleaning, errands. Hang around and answer the phone and door so your friends can rest. Spend the night to keep them company when they can’t sleep, or be available at any hour for a phone call.
    8. Encourage postponement of major decisions. Don’t help them suddenly sell the house or car, quit a job, etc. They’re not on an even emotional keel and may lack the judgment needed to make significant changes.
    9. In time, gently draw them into activities. They may resist initially out of fear of getting upset in public. Give them time to heal and adjust to the changes in their lives; then start with small, private groups.
    10. When your grieving friends return to social activities, treat them as normal people. Don’t introduce them by saying, "She just lost her husband, baby," etc.
    11. Be aware of the normal stages of grief. If a mourner seems unable to resolve anger or guilt, suggest seeking help from a professional counselor or a clergyman.

    Discipleship Journal, Issue 125 (September/October 2001) (NavPress, 2001).

    Keep Smiling :smile:

  • C_M_C_M_ Posts: 2,904

    @Keep_Smiling_4_Jesus said:

    When Your Friend Is Grieving
    by Jeanetta R. Chrystie

    These simple expressions of caring can go a long way to help someone heal from a significant loss.
    1. If you don’t know what to say, just say a simple "I’m sorry." The closer your meeting or visit is to the tragedy, the less you should say anyway. Offer a brief embrace or squeeze the person’s hand or arm. Meet his or her eyes with a loving look.
    2. Keep in touch. Be available but not smothering. Keep early visits and phone calls short so as not to tire your friends...

    Thanks much! Very practical. CM

  • C_M_C_M_ Posts: 2,904
    edited January 18

    Remember the families of the four fallen Servicemen, recently in Syria. :'( CM

  • C_M_C_M_ Posts: 2,904

    This is the time for those all good Christians to pray for the well-being of the US Federal Workers. May God provide for the poor, and the innocent being oppressed a leader who seems to not know God or have the heart to feel the pain of humanity. (800,000 plus) Pray people, pray! CM

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